Opposites attract…but do they stick

The theory of attraction has always been applied to relationships. Opposites attract like the north pole of a magnet attracts to the South Pole of another magnet and vice versa. Nobody has understood this fundamental truth in the universe and why it exists. But it exists nevertheless like an indefatigable truth.

Love and relationships have always been candy-flossed on the whirlwinds of opposite attractions or should we say opposing attractions.

So what makes opposites attract?

- Just like negatively charged electrons flow towards an area of electron deficiency, so to opposites suffice their personality needs by seeking desired behaviors through their partners, or living vicariously through their partner’s personality.

- Human beings are always thrilled and enthralled by things by unusual things. They yearn for that sense of excitement. Two people with opposite personalities get that sense of excitement and thrill in their relationship because their tastes and interests are different, and this doubles up the learning and excitement.

What can go wrong with opposites?

- Sometimes very polar personalities may not come together and sustain a relationship. Loving somebody and living with somebody are not necessarily two sides of the same coin. People may fall in love, but not necessarily step up to love. Falling in love is a process where there is incredible attraction between opposites, but later when the relationship demands some kind of consistency in thought, reasoning, and attitude, this love may fade and can even turn to hate.

- A marriage between opposites can be like a thrilling ski on snow, or a rough bumpy ride on a mountain. Its all about knowing how to modulate ones personality to bring a consistency in sync with the other personality. All these are called ‘adjustments’. If there are no ‘adjustments’ in this kind of a relationship, then the end is near.

How can opposites stay attracted in a marriage?

- Let be. Don’t try to enforce something on your spouse who has a personality totally opposite to you. For example, if you are an introvert, and your spouse is an extrovert, then getting your spouse to slow down a bit, and become an introvert like you will be a move in the wrong direction in your relationship.

- Be ready for the unusual in the unusual. Try not to look at similarity of thought and behavior in your spouse, especially in a marriage. Deal with it articulately, and there will never be sparks of destruction.