Mending a Relationship that Began on a Wrong Note

At times some relationships begin in a wrong or negative way. For example, you may have a cold feeling or hostility towards a classmate, fights with a person you have to share your room with, misunderstanding or miscommunication with your boss, arguments with a person in your own social group etc.

There are many relationships that have begun with hostility or arguments and have later on blossomed into meaningful, intimate, life long relationships. People are generally cautious and wary of each others when they meet in the beginning. They have strong defenses, prejudice, biases towards each other, and some draw conclusions based on the outward appearance and attitude of a person and feel hostile towards him/her even before actually knowing them.

If your relationship has begun on a wrong note, there are ways and means to rectify the situation. If the effort to push back the prejudice and bias is prevalent on both sides, misunderstandings can be sorted out easily. Or else, if there is a forced situation where you have to spend time with each other, you may just get to know each other better and develop positive feelings.

If you yourself feel that the hostility may be without a reason and you should work towards conciliation, you can take a proactive effort. Begin with a smile when you see the person face to face, greet them good day, just say a plain ‘Hi’. This will atleast break the ice of non communication and avoidance of each other. It will also make both of you comfortable for further conversation.

Be slow and steady. After some time, introduce yourself and ask about the other person too. Share some things about yourselves. This will develop a kind of comfort and familiarity about each other. From this step, you can take on the relationship further as per both your interests, i.e. to just have operational level of communication, just be on talking terms or develop friendship etc.