Maintaining the Relationship With your Child in Boarding School
November 28, 2009
Parent child bonding always goes through the seasons when the child is away from the parents. Children often go to boarding school when they have to go to a good school that is away from their parents working places. Parents are very particular so as to enroll their children in the best of schools even if that means they will have to live apart.
Some children get packed off to boarding school because the parents are not able to control their children and feel boarding school will mend their way by bringing in more discipline into their lives.
All said and done, boarding schools don’t always do well for parent-child relationships. They say that distance makes the heart grow fonder, but distance also makes bonds weaker. All relationships need regular interaction to keep the spark alive.
Here are the advantages and disadvantages of children in boarding school..
Disadvantages
- The personality of the child will not be influenced by the parents, but rather by friends and teachers. So if you are expecting your child to show much of your personality traits you may find little.
- There is no control on the child’s activities, except for the control of the boarding staff. It is common to see children in boarding school take to smoking or drinking secretly. Denial of freedom by the school makes them look for other alternatives.
- The affection levels between child and parents may not be at their best. This is because the child would have learnt to live independently and may not need that level of support as desired from parents. Also, there could be a sense of resentment or hatred towards parents. This increases when they regular school goers whose parent’s drop or pick them up from school.
Advantages
- Children in boarding school are strongly independent and have the ability to take care of themselves.
- They will be financially independent in future also. This is because they will learn to manage their finances effectively.
How can you maintain the relationship with your child in boarding school?
- Try to call your child often. Fix up a time in a day to regularly call your child.
- Make sure your child spends all vacations with you.
- Attend all parents –teacher meetings.
- Don’t miss out the schools annual sports day or annual day.
- Make a surprise visit now and then.
- Send gifts to your child.
- Don’t ask probing questions to your child….like about girlfriends, boyfriends, leisure activities….give your child space.
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