How to Make Friends with Youth
September 10, 2009
The youth population has manners and practices different from the generation before them. Their manners may be very direct, curt, straightforward, aggressive and they may not particularly value the hierarchical position in which they are placed vis-à-vis elders and people in the society that demand obedience and allegiance from them.
Youth may have a skeptical attitude towards elderly as they may find elders to be very principled, morally strong, philosophical, impractical, and may find the gap of attitude, thoughts to be very wide.
As an elder there is a tendency to draw parallels and comparisons between your times and the current situation, you may become judgmental, cynical about youth, may find fault with many of their practices, think that they are frivolous etc, and therefore may take up the role of advising them and helping them to chart out a better course for their life. Despite your good intentions the youth may find this vexing.
As an elder, if you want to establish a good rapport with youth, stop thinking of them as someone dependent or someone in a lower hierarchical position than yours. Talk to them as equals, not as kids or short brained individuals. Do not take up the role of preaching and lecturing to instill some sense in them. Rather understand the realities of youth through dialogue and observation.
Avoid having a condescending manner and tone with youth. Be practical. Having high morals and ideals are fine but they are disassociated with the realities of youth. Open hostility towards their lifestyle, attitudes, supposedly careless and frivolous attitude may lead them away from you.
Value their opinion and realities. Do not look at youth practices in a void. Do not threaten them with your experience and wisdom of worldly ways. It may make them feel inadequate, threatened, insecure and inferior. Do not have an aura of power, righteousness and wisdom that youth will find difficult to get over with and engage with you at a personal level.
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