Handling yourself post divorce
December 23, 2009
Life after divorce can be emotionally draining due to the experiences of your life, recollection of memories, feelings of upset and disappointment that the relationship ended this way.
Depression is a natural outcome of any difficult or upsetting event in life. There may be phases where you may tend to blame yourself, find fault in yourself, doubt yourself or feel rage, hurt, anger, heartache at the way the partner behaved.
The mind gets numb due to constant brooding about the life you had together and what possible things could have been different so that the relationship would have sustained. If these thoughts enter your mind, do not block it. Self introspection, reasoning, questioning will help you to assimilate this fact of your life, ready yourself for accepting and slowly coming to terms with it.
Don’t stop possibilities from entering your mind. The divorce could make you feel light in heart, mind and spirit, you could feel like starting all over again, having a laid back approach for a while and so on. These are positive feelings and do just as you feel. This will be a welcome break from depressing thoughts.
Give yourself the freedom of choosing your life. Get off to a place or a location where you can revitalize yourself. If you feel being in company of people you know will help you, tag along with them or if you feel being all by yourself will be more liberating and comfortable, do it on your own.
Don’t take hasty decisions. Don’t jump to unreasonable conclusions, especially about yourself. Do not doubt your self worth and value, or your ability to be in a relationship. Don’t punish yourself for things that went wrong; neither should you hold a grudge for the partner. Understand that there were limitations both of you had. Emerging from this phase as a more matured and sensitive person will help you.
Don’t feel negatively about yourself or be affected by hearsay and social taboos that you may come across. Don’t be sour about the relationship; value it as a part of your life, but realize that it was meant to be only so much and now a new inning begins.
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