Handling Strained Relations with Relatives

Relations may turn sour because of various factors. There may be differences of opinion, anger about unfair treatment, monetary disputes, arguments, power play in the family, disputes of property etc. You may feel that you have been wronged, treated unfairly, taken advantage of, have been exploited or abused by selfish members, and feel like not having to do anything with the family members.

Breaking communication is the easiest way of ending relationships. However, before taking this decision, you need to consider a few points, i.e. the proximity of the relationship you share, is there a way of resolving the dispute, is the point of conflict so important that you will give up the relationship, how far can you stretch yourself to keep things going, what is the importance of these members in your life, is there a way that you can still reconcile, what family means to you, is the dispute about clashing egos and power conflict, and can you compromise now so that you reap long term benefits.

Family sometimes can be an excellent support system, or can be a source of considerable anxiety, tension and frustration. Things can also get complicated between adults as they exercise their influence in various ways, expect to be obeyed and listened, like to dictate terms, have ego, take pride in their experience and believe that they are right. If you feel pressured by these things, put some distance with them, but not with a conclusion that this distance is going to be permanent.

Let children in the family not be affected by your disputes. Do not drag children in adult conflicts. Let them have their relationship with cousins and relatives, if children have a close bond with them. Children’s minds should not be altered and manipulated to create hostility and ill feelings about each other.

Use occasions like celebrations, birthdays, anniversaries to atleast maintain contact and restore the relationship, though your disputes may look irresolvable.