Handling an Angry Partner

Anger could be a result of a gap between partner’s expectations from each other, due to neglect of small issues, difference of opinion etc. A person in a relationship could be angry if the partner does not call up, keeps the phone switched off or does not answer it, does not make time to meet, is in a hurry to get back home, forgets a birthday and so on.

Taking corrective steps is important to lessen the partner’s anger. Do not be secretive with your partner. Tell her/him about your whereabouts so that if they are unable to reach you, you can explain to them about it and prevent fights.

Give correct explanations and clarifications. Do not take support of lies to cover up for your fault or mistakes.

When an angry partner is venting his/her feelings, do not interrupt.  Allow them to finish saying what is on their mind. Listen to it patiently. Do not get defensive or aggressive about it.

Understand the partner’s perspective. You may find the reason for anger to be silly or unreasonable, but for the partner it may mean a lot.

If your partner is angry for the right reasons, the best way to pacify him/her is by apologizing. Honest acceptance of mistake, rather than lame excuses will calm your partner down. Saying ‘sorry’ may just end the anger.

Keep track of things about you that make the partner angry. It could be things like calling up at odd hours, pestering, not understating their limitations or situation, sudden change in behaviour etc. Do not repeat these mistakes again and again.

If the partner is so angry that he/she does not want to talk to you, do not pester them to talk. Give them their space and time to calm down, and call back a day later. Or, you may send a card saying that you are sorry, or a small bouquet.