Handling a Complaining Partner

A complaining or nagging partner can be very irritating and frustrating. The complaint may be genuine or irrational. The complaining can be avoided if you maintain a good level of communication with your spouse.

Be a good listener. You may feel that the partner is complaining to you about trivial things or the complaint is unjust. However, just give her/him a patient hearing so that you can understand her/his point of view and perception.

A wrong perception or misunderstanding can be a cause for complaining. This can be resolved by hearing out fully and then offering your explanations and clarification.

Do not get defensive or argumentative while hearing the complaint. Not allowing the partner to finish what he/she is saying can only give rise to more complaints (i.e. you don’t listen, you don’t allow them to speak etc etc).

Be honest and frank with your partner. Do not lie to cover up your mess; partners can sense it. It will also ruin the relationship.

Do not fail to apologize if the complaint is legitimate and genuine. Putting back your ego and saying ‘sorry’ will mend the relationship.

However, if you find that the partner is always complaining over trivial matters, you need to let her/him know that you are fed up with the complaining nature. The complaints can make you feel that you are at fault, you not able to handle the relationship, and this will create a negative self-opinion.

You may also need to go into introspection and think why the partner is complaining. There may be reasons like not giving adequate time, not meeting, making him/her wait for long, not answering the call etc.

Take corrective steps to prevent these complaints or speak out your limitations due to which you cannot always meet the demand of the partner.

If the complaining is excessive, frustrating, and is causing loss of peace of mind and happiness, rework or rethink about your relationship.