Don’ts After Break Up

Break up can be an emotionally traumatic and taxing phase to go through. Break up can cause various conditions like self blaming, anger towards oneself or the partner, guilt at not being able to save the relationship, hatred towards the partner, not being able to forgive and forget, tormenting memories of fights that lead to break up or helplessness at not being together.

After a break up, a person may feel frustrated, sorrowful, hopeless, pessimistic, disinterested in life, shame, loss of hope, helplessness and may become depressed. The person may have self harming tendencies, may punish oneself deliberately, get suicidal ideas, may not care for physical well being and so on.

Do not take the blame of the break up entirely upon yourself. The question ‘why’ may be on your mind. But do not go into deep introspection and blame yourself for all that happened. Assigning guilt only to yourself is unfair and unreasonable.

Do not try to snap out of it immediately. It may backfire at a later point of time. Vent all your feelings either by telling about it to someone, writing about it, scribbling and removing out your anger, crying and whichever coping strategy you find suitable.

Do not try to get back at the person if he/she ditched you. Do not send angry messages, hate mails, threatening messages, give calls at odd hours, even though you may feel like it. It may just make you more desperate and restless.

Though you must not dwell about what happened, you mustn’t even act like nothing happened. Each relationship teaches some lessons. Develop an understanding of yourself and of other people too.  Clarity about yourself and understanding of others will help you to handle your relationships better in the future.

Do not immediately get into another relationship after a break off. The absence of warmth and love due to break off may be difficult to handle, but do not rush into a relationship with any other person.