Depression Due to Separation

Separation of a couple who have shared a romantic interest in each other may go through a span of depression when the relationship comes to an end.

Married couples may suffer depression at the time of divorce and even after the divorce proceedings are over. A live-in couple may experience depression when the partner has moved out.

Separation of such intimate relationships does a great damage to the mental well-being. The feelings of loss of love, absence of a companion, not finding love and warmth, bitter experiences of the relationship can create an emotional scar.

If the separation was not mutual but one sided, the person who did not willingly consent to the separation may go into depression, as he/she may find the experience more traumatizing. They may feel worthless, unloved, cheated, exploited, guilty, angry and disappointed due to the end of the relationship that they valued so much.

There could be feelings of guilt or self-blame as the partner did not want to stay with them any longer. They may blame themselves for what happened.  This could give rise to a lot of negative feelings about oneself, like, ‘I was not able to hold the relationship’, ‘I am not capable of being in a romantic relationship’, ‘ the relationship failed because of me’, ‘I am an unworthy person’ and so on.

This can also give rise to fears like, will the person be able to find a loving and trusting relationship, will they always be lonely, will the future relationships end this way etc. This can lead to self-doubt, fear, insecurity, loss of self-value and confidence. All these factors acting together can lead to depression.

If the separation has not been handled smoothly and there has been open hostility, abuse, blaming episodes or fights, the depression could be more.

The partners may dwell on the blame assigned to them and may feel guilty, worthless, culpable and frustrated. They may also feel hopeless, as they cannot overcome the feeling of failure and negative picture of themselves. This may again lead to depression.