Depression Due to Marital Separation

Marital separation can be a traumic phase to go through. Couples who have irreconcilable differences, are not compatible with each other, feel discontent and disappointed about their married life may still feel the pinch of separation even though so many things about the marriage may not be right.

Marital separation may put one through depression due to the overwhelming feeling of being left alone, of coping with the absence of a companion, due to the sudden lonely circumstance one may confront and due to the regret and disappointment that the marriage did not succeed.

Couples may blame the failure on themselves. They may feel that the shortcoming was theirs, the marriage could have been better had they been in a position to handle circumstances better, they may feel that they were not good enough, they could not satisfy the spouse the way they should have and so on.

Self blame creates a lot of guilt. There may be feelings of disappointment and anger at oneself for not making things work, helplessness at not being able to turn the situation in a positive way, hopelessness about oneself. There could be a phase of self pity and then a person may slip into depression.

Depression is also a way to cope with the hurt and anger, fear and sorrow that marital separation brings about. Depression puts the couple in a somewhat dull, passive, inert stage. This stage helps the divorced to introspect, possibly come to terms with this fact, resolve their fears, doubts, confusions and think about a way to proceed further.

This response is better than extreme forms of reaction like suicidal tendencies, rage and anger, seeking retribution or vengeance etc. To this effect depression may be a relatively healthier and less risky state to be in as it may give the divorced some time to come to terms with the situation rather than taking knee jerk drastic decisions.

Depression may arise out of the sudden void created in their life. There may be regret about how things could have been different, pain and hurt because things turned out this way. There may be disgruntlements with the partner, and also a feeling of loss due to absence of love and companionship.