Coping With Loss of Child

Loss of child is very traumatic and difficult situation to deal with.  Parents may suffer severe mental turmoil and emotional trauma due to this.

There may be non acceptance of the fact, resistance to consolation by relatives and friends, anger, hatred, disbelief, stoned or numb state of mind or guilt.

They may refuse to be comforted by anyone and may not be believe the death of a child. There may be anger with oneself for what happened. Self blame, punishing self, placing irrational blame on self, tendency of harming self for what happened may also prevail.

Only time and patience can enable parents to come to terms with the loss.

The question WHY is a very predominant one. They may try to pen down a reason for why this tragedy had to befall their child. Assigning blame to oneself or feeling responsible for what happened to the child is an emotion most parents go through.

After a point of time parents may have to realize them that it was not their mistake. The realization that the death of the child was destined at a particular time or day can be consoling. They need to accept that this event did not happen due to their neglect or mistake; and they couldn’t have possibly stopped it.

There could be a higher reason and purpose that we may not be able to see. Probably with passage of time, we may see the reason.

Parents may find blame with themselves if they were not with the child and feel that it was their mistake or negligence. However, self-chastisement, self blame, guilt will not help in reconciling with the loss.

The death of the child is not a punishment for their past mistakes and it may not have anything to do with their wrongdoing.

Live with the moments of happiness that you had with the child, rather than moments that may have been had the child being alive.